"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."
This quote, once so small in my mind, now has new meaning. I never gave thought to why God placed specific people in my life but it is more and more clear to me each day that there is a reason for everything. A reason for everyone. This year I have been blessed to have multiple angels placed into my life at just the right moment. Multiple young ladies who I have been lucky enough to mentor and spend time with every day. Whether they are in my life for a season or a lifetime, they are in my life for a reason. They have been placed in my life to inspire me, challenge me, and allow me to grow.
So to all my female residents this year please know: you were brought to my life for a reason. You changed me.
I'll never forget that regular Wednesday afternoon when I was talking to one of my girls about out of all things....acne. This resident, beautiful in all ways, had been struggling with acne for years and so had I. For years I dealt with adult acne and the damage it did to my self esteem. I would look in the mirror and everything seemed just right but then I'd pay closer attention and bam....the acne would just stare back at me. It seems silly but discussing my struggles with acne was something that I never did. Every time someone mentioned, "Did you ever try Proactive?" "Have you been to a doctor for that?" "Are you taking something for that?" etc, I wanted to cry inside. But that day, that regular Wednesday as we're discussing blemish creams I noticed how she was still confident, I noticed how I wasn't alone, and suddenly I found myself talking about my acne and all the insecurities that came along with it. That day, as small of a conversation it may have been, was significant for me because ever since that day I found myself talking about my acne more. And although now my skin is as clear as it's ever been, being able to talk about my former struggle with acne led me to talk about other insecurities I've dealt with in the past as well. Thoughts that I use to have sealed away were suddenly being freely talked about and I was embracing my imperfections. That regular Wednesday, I left the room feeling confident in my own skin, acne or not. That conversation changed me.
As usual I hear a knocking on the door but this time when I let one of my girls in, I knew it would be an emotional conversation. I could hear it in her voice that she was upset. The way she chocked up and looked anxiously at me as if she were thinking, "should I tell her, should I not?" When I told her "you can tell me anything" I could see a relief in her eyes. She began to talk to me about a relationship she had been in, verbally and sometimes physically abusive, and how it damaged her. How she sometimes felt it was her fault, how she many times just felt use to it, like it was normal, but also how she had made the decision to walk away. As she talked to me I couldn't help but feel with her, everything that she was saying. I felt hurt with her, bitter with her, empowered because she chose to walk away, with her. And as she told me, "you're the only person I told about this," I thought to myself that being trusted is a beautiful responsibility. This responsibility meant lending my hand and helping her heal, and I was ready for it. Knowing that I was trusted by someone so deeply made me realize my role for my girls. It made me realize that God makes people in this world who can change lives by being the listener, mentor, friend. With that trust came responsibility. That responsibility changed me.
The first week of move-in I had already felt giddy because I had a celebrity as a resident. One of my girls looked exactly like Tina Fey! As I got to know her I realized that her looks may be very similar to Tina, but her personality was one of a kind. The more time I spent with her, the more I noticed how incredible she is. This young lady could spit any history fact at me but at the same time would spit underground rap lyrics as well. She was quirky, mature, had a great sense of humor, and was a little nerd all wrapped in one. She couldn't fit into any "box." She was herself, perfectly and beautifully put together. There is almost something about her that just captivates me. I'm not sure if that sounds odd, but I literally am captivated by how true to herself she is. She makes history seem hip and makes yoga pants and sneakers look stylish. Her genuine character is more than inspiring in my life. She reminds me every day how it's okay to be yourself, no matter who that may be. She reminds me that being silly is still cool, and liking school is still important. She reminds me everyday that there's no rule of who can be your friend, of what makes a friendship valuable. For you see, even though we just met I know that she will be in my life for a lifetime because I refuse to let her spunk go to waste! Seeing how true to herself she is has helped me be more true to myself along the way. Just knowing her has changed me.
I always encourage. It's what I love to do. Making others feel happy makes me feel happy. I always tell my girls how amazing, beautiful, and intelligent they are. I remind them that they can go anywhere in life with determination and that they do matter in this world, they matter to everyone around them, they matter to me. And as I'm telling one of my girls how proud they all make me, my wonderful, thoughtful, and kind-hearted resident says to me, "Ely, I know you like to tell others how perfect they are but you're perfect too. You matter." And hearing those words, so simple, so sweet, made me feel incredible inside. It showed me how kind words really do matter, really do lift others up. I felt special and amazing and empowered, all because someone gave me a little reassurance. "You matter." Hearing those words changed me.
So you see, I could go on and on about the little conversations, small moments, happy memories, that have impacted my life. Just know that the girls on the 2nd floor of good ol' McCarthy Hall have been brought to my life for a reason. Each and every one of them.
You all have helped me grow into a woman and helped me love myself more than ever. YOU CHANGED ME.
So this first post is dedicated to you, the girls who've helped me become who I am right now. Thank you and I love you. I hope you can look at this blog in the future and be inspired, just like you all inspire me everyday.
With love,
Ely
